Life has a million things going on all at once. When we make one decision, it effects our whole future. Sometimes we get so consumed in what’s happening in our own life, we often can forget to check in on the ones we love. It is also difficult to reach out when we struggle with mental health, as sometimes we barely even have the energy to take care of ourself.
There is always a difficult time in life as we start out in school, then possibly furthering our education with going to college, and then we end up with a career and hopefully a family. I thought high school was the most challenging time in my life, until I got to college and I realized how much more reliability it is on yourself. It’s up to you to succeed and lead your education to the end line. Well as a perfectionist I have been spending all my time on my school work. I study, complete my work, and then recheck my work multiple times. I haven’t really spent time with friends and family due to it and it’s been making my relationships wither down.
I have started to become upset and felt alone. I felt like no one else was reaching out if I wasn’t. I wasn’t seeing anyone a lot like I did before and communicating was not being made between myself and others. I went into a spiral of more isolation as I felt no one would notice if I just stopped being around. I stopped believing in myself and the good that I bring to life.
One of the closet person I have in my life helped me realize what my reasoning could be for these feelings and actions. They said I was self-sabotaging. I was passively preventing myself from meeting my goals and being happy with what I am doing in life. I don’t have a great answer of why I was doing it or how I lead myself to doing that. Sometimes with mental health, we have to push ourself a litter harder to do the simplest tasks. For some people, it is hard to even take a shower. We don’t feel like we have enough energy to get up sometimes, because we are fighting a larger battle with ourselves on the inside. I didn’t have the energy to complete my assignments and make sure I was the one to check up on my relationships with others.
It was important to be aware of it so I knew what I needed to work on. I noticed I stopped reaching out to others to check in or make plans. My family back home stopped hearing from me like they used to and my friends noticed I wasn’t making any plans. It is important to push through and get the other end. Having connections in life is a necessity as it is a way for support, love, and a way to create memorable times. I don’t know what I would do without my family and friends because they are the reason I keep pushing forward in my life. They make my life exciting and filled with love and support. I will continue to push myself to keep them in my life and make a happier time no matter the fight!